Posts Tagged ‘dallas’

HOSPITAL OR BIRTH CENTER…THAT IS THE QUESTION.

I can remember researching birth centers almost as soon as I got married.  I remember that when I first heard of them, I was very taken with the idea and immediately intrigued about them.  I’ve never really liked hospitals…they smell funny (though the irony is that I actually was a biology major in college for a semester, planning on going into medicine).  After just a little bit of research, I knew immediately that a birth center was what I wanted to use to have my children.  It seemed like the best of both worlds!  A blend of medicine with a very homelike feel!  My mother-in-law had 3 out of four of her kids at home with a midwife, so my husband was and is very comfortable with midwifery and natural birth.  My own mom didn’t have an epidural with my oldest sister (though my twin and I were taken by c-section so of course medicinal intervention was needed there).  So, I knew that from my parents and his parents, we wouldn’t have much trouble gaining “permission.” (Not that we needed permission, but it’s nice not to have to convince).  Well, when I got pregnant, we were living in Chicago, having to go through private health care because my husband was a graduate student and I was working for a non-profit with no benefits.  Little did I know that the private health insurance company would not pay a dime for any prenatal tests or labs or doctor visits!!!  After my initial appointment and ultrasound, we already owed the hospital over $4,000.  I remember getting the bill and in between sobs, telling my husband that we couldn’t afford to deliver this child.  At that point, I stopped going to the doctor.  I remember getting reassurances from friends who told me that all the doctors checked for at these visits was my weight, baby’s growth, and blood pressure, so not to worry.  However, as a first-time mom, I wanted everything to be normal.  I wanted to be as stereotypical as possible! When you try a recipe out for the first time, you don’t tweak.  When pregnant for the first time, you follow the plan!  Tweaking should be left for the experienced.

We moved to Dallas that summer and when I arrived I was already 6 months pregnant with no doctor, insurance, or plan.  Thankfully, my husband got a job very quickly but even then, the insurance plan wasn’t great, and I just didn’t trust insurance companies to treat us fairly.  From my research, I knew that things might not go ‘by the book’ in a hospital, and anyone who touched me who wasn’t under our plan, we would be paying for out of pocket.  That concern, along with not knowing what medicines and interventions would be covered, convinced me to look into birth centers again.  I found a couple that really excited me, so one day, my good friend and I went a-hunting.  We weren’t too taken with the first one, so with crossed fingers, called up the second to see if we could stop by without an appointment.  I met Sarah that day and my friend and I were both taken with how calm she made me feel, as well as the professional, clean, polished, charming…I could go on forever, but to sum it all up…Gentle Beginnings Birth Center was a lovely place, and I knew I wanted to have my baby there. 

When my friend and I got back, I was so excited, but she was very nervous.  She spoke with her mother (a lovely woman who I like a lot) who just happens to be an ICU nurse.  The concerns and fears came pouring in.  And not just from my friends.  People at church, in the grocery line, everywhere it seemed, were interested in where I was giving birth, who was delivering, why would I want to do it without medication, what if there were complications…and on and on.  I finally called Sarah and asked for some advice.  We met up and I gave her all the scary scenarios I had heard.  She answered every one of them calmly and without surprise.  I could tell that she was trained with what to do in every one of those situations and that I and my baby would be very safe in her hands.  My husband and I decided that Gentle Beginnings fit our picture of what birth should be (a natural occurrence that can become a medical situation, but does not start off that way, and should therefore be aided not intervened or prohibited at the will of any person), what it should cost, and how every member of our family and friends should experience the arrival of our first baby.  Thanks to Sarah and her team, I had the answers and the confidence that I could do this, even though I’d never done it before.  I could safely deliver my baby, and that they would be there to take care of everything (from hot oil compresses to taking pictures to massage).  My prenatal experience turned from scarily non-stereotypical to excitingly-unusual…at least in this day and age.  I went from unprepared to uniquely aware of my body and my baby.  They redeemed my time for me and for that I will always be grateful.

THE LABOR STORY

It all started around 3:45am on December 7th.  I woke up and had to go to the bathroom (as was typical at that time in my life…I had to go every 2 hours or so).  Well, sorry if this is too much information, but when I went, I noticed that I was bleeding…quite a bit.  Needless to say, I panicked.  I went straight to the computer and researched ‘third trimester bleeding.’  What I found was not helpful and mostly terrifying–everything from placenta abrevia to miscarriage.  I texted Sarah right away, laid down on the couch, and told myself that if she didn’t respond within 15 minutes I would call her.  I not-so-patiently waited until 4:00am and then called Sarah.  Waking her up, I told her what was happening and she said not to worry but that if I was still bleeding tomorrow, we would schedule an ultrasound to make sure things were okay.  I also told her I was worried because I couldn’t get the baby to move.  She suggested drinking a cold glass of water and eating some fruit to wake him up.  Sure enough, a few minutes after eating and drinking, the baby began jumping around which caused me to calm down.  Sarah then texted me a few more questions which led her to believe that I was indeed in pre-labor. Not wanting to wake Michael up with my tossing and turning, I went and laid down in the second bedroom to try and get some rest.  I’m not positive of the time anymore, but sometime in the 5:00 hour I woke up with cramps.  I went and got the hot pad that I had bought for laboring, heated it up and laid back down…and promptly got rid of the hot pad.  That silly thing did absolutely nothing and only annoyed me more.    I then decided that I was definitely having contractions and went to the living room to start Contraction Master.  I was really confused, because starting from the beginning I was having contractions that lasted anywhere from 20 seconds to 2 and a half minutes and were anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes apart.  That’s not what I had read they would be like!  They were supposed to be irregular at the beginning, but moving closer together as labor progressed.  Mine were so irregular but pretty intense right from the start.  I labored like this for the next few hours and waited until I heard Michael’s alarm go off at 8am.  At this point, I had just had a couple of really painful contractions, so I was glad it was time for him to get up.  I had already decided that we weren’t going to church that day.  I woke him up by walking into the room and calmly saying, “Michael, I need you.  I think I’m in labor.”  He quickly jumped up and came to me, immediately comforting me as I’m sure I was looking panicked and scared. 

Having Michael’s help during the next uncertain hours was wonderful.  He helped me decide to call Sarah and see what we should do rather than immediately calling family.  Sarah suggested I either go for a walk or take a bath.  Walking was NOT what I wanted to do, so I opted for the bath, hoping to regulate the contractions and get some rest.  Well, I regulated the contractions, but did not get anymore rest.  While I was in the bath, Michael decided to shower and get ready for the busy day.  I think I lasted 10 minutes (maybe) in the tub before having to get out and go lay down.  The contractions got strong and VERY regular.  By the time Michael was out and we were using contraction master again, my contractions were every minute to minute and a half lasting at least a minute, most of them longer.  I discovered that the best way for me to labor was on my hands and knees.  This made contractions very manageable, but unfortunately, any time I changed positions to rest my arms and legs, I caused another contraction by moving.  The contractions, along with the exhaustion, made me very nauseous, so I ended up throwing up (sorry if you’re queasy) in bed.  I moved to the second bedroom again while Michael cleaned up and gave Sarah a call.  It was around 9:30 I think at this point, and Sarah gave Michael a few things to find out from me, only I wasn’t much help apparently.  I could hear everything he was saying, but come to find out later, I wasn’t responding.  It’s funny to think back on this, because I really do remember him talking to me and me thinking my responses, but I also remember him saying very tensely but calmly, “Courtney, Sarah is asking me questions and it’s really important that you tell us the answers.  I need to know when your contractions are starting and when they’re over.”  I never responded to him because I was trying to hard to figure out how to respond.  First, I wasn’t always sure when they started or when they were over, because sometimes they were right on top of each other.  Second, I couldn’t figure out what signal to give.  Should I tap the bed? Say “it’s starting”? Say “Now”?  All of these sounded so hard to get out and communicate.  Then, a contraction began and I looked at him and said, ‘okay’.  He must have read my face, because he started the clock and then stopped it when I said ‘okay’ again.  What a brilliant code I came up with!   After a few more of these and one more trip to the bathroom for me, Michael called Sarah to let her know.  When she found out how close the contractions were and that I was getting the chills and throwing up, she told Michael to give her 15 minutes and then to leave for the birth center.  Michael came to me (where I was hanging over the toilet–a REALLY good place to labor, by the way.  Perfect height for kneeling and helped me save my arms from having to hold myself up) and told me it was time to go.  I was able to tell him that the birth bag had been packed, but that there was a list of last-minute items to grab.  While he finished gathering supplies, I continued to labor in the bathroom.  When he said it was time to go, I moved to the living room and kneeled next to the coffee table while he answered a couple of calls from people wondering where to go to meet up with us.  Everyone was surprised it was happening so quickly.  While kneeling in the living room, I had my first ‘urge to push’ and got a little scared thinking, ‘this is not where I want to be!’  It took us a bit to get to the car because anytime I moved I had a contraction, so I had to walk while contracting, which wasn’t easy. Also not easy?  The ride to the birth center…let’s just sum that part up with ‘OUCH!’ 

When we got to the birth center, we saw Jesse and Kelly’s car.  I remember seeing them and smiling at them, but Kelly says that she wasn’t sure if I knew they were there, so obviously my smile wasn’t very expressive.  I found out later that Kelly asked Michael if I knew they were there and he responded, “I don’t know.  I’m not even sure she can hear me.”  Strangely enough, I was very aware.  Everything I had read regarding labor led me to believe that I would dip into what they called ‘Labor Land’ and I wouldn’t be as aware.  WRONG.  I remember questions, looks, thoughts…such as “I hope Kelly doesn’t hear me.  She’ll never want to do this” or “I forgot to renew my library books yesterday.  Now they’re overdue” or “That was an ineffective contraction.  I need to do better on the next one to make it really work.”  Seriously, those were some real thoughts.  I was just REALLY REALLY in my own head. 

When I got the center, Sarah checked me out and I was already 8 cm dilated.  PRAISE GOD!  I remember having to concentrate really hard at these last contractions, but I also remember thinking that I imagined it to be much worse.  I was definitely ‘vocalizing’ very loudly, but it really helped with pain management if I did it properly.  Michael was AMAZING.  He seemed to be exactly where I needed him to be and to say the exact right thing.  I am in awe that he would know me so well that he could serve me in such capacity with me not talking to him since around 9:30 that morning.  At this point, I also remember thinking that the birth center had been the perfect choice for us.  In a hospital, I don’t think I would have been able to labor on my hands and knees for so long and Michael wouldn’t have been able to be right there in the bed with me, holding my hand.  If I tried laboring on my back, the pain was too much, but hands and knees allowed me to labor effectively, without pain overcoming me.  From this point on, time gets really fuzzy.  It felt like it was over quickly (but not quickly enough), when in fact, several hours past during this time.  When it came time to push, Michael got behind me on the bed (another reason I’m glad we were there…I still remember the feeling of leaning back into my husband’s shoulder to push and hearing him say “oh wow! I can see his head!” or  “You’re so close!” or other little encouragements), and I leaned against him for the 45 minutes it took.  This part was MUCH HARDER than I expected it to be and am very glad that I don’t have to do it again for quite awhile.  But like I said, 45 minutes and it was over. 

When he was out, they very quickly wrapped him in a towel and pretty much dumped him onto my chest (gently, but it happened so fast!).  Michael and I just sat there for a few minutes in awe of this baby.  I then looked up and asked Sarah if it was a boy or girl.  She just smiled and said we would have to look. So we unwrapped the towel and discovered our little boy!  We were both very surprised since we kept telling everyone we thought it would be a girl.  I still remember the cheer when Christy, the assistant midwife walked out to Jesse and Kelly to tell them Christopher was born.  Michael and I both laughed.  After I had recovered a bit and Topher had nursed some, they let everyone come in.  By this point, my parents and Christine (my sister) had joined the Cones at the center.  It was perfect.  In his first moments of life, he got to experience love from some (not all) of the people that we care about most.  Then they set up the computer so that Michael’s parents could iChat with us and see Christopher.  How awesome are these times in which we live?!  I then got to go take an herb bath (amazing feeling!!!!) with Christopher while Sarah and Christy ordered me lunch from Panera.  It all felt so natural and normal and joyous.  After everyone had been checked out declared ‘good to go’ we all left back to home.  I think I got home around 5:30ish, so from beginning of labor to arrival back home…almost 14 hours.  NOT BAD! It was exactly the birth I had wanted and the ability to come home and sleep in my own bed (if only for a couple hours at a time) was indescribable.  The care I received from Sarah and Christy goes beyond words and I will be ever grateful to them for taking such good care of Michael, Christopher, my family, my friends, and me.  It was just perfect!

When I first heard about Sarah, I was in Beijing, China, facing with anxiety the delivery of my first child in the coming months. Of course I was to give birth in an international hospital, but nevertheless, being so far from friends and family, surrounded by people who barely understand English, would have made anyone nervous. Sarah was no less than a lifebuoy for all the pregnant women there. From the start I was impressed with the amount of knowledge and experience in such a young midwife! Then she told me about her work in the Philippines, I was even more willing to hire her.

My husband and I first met Sarah when attendng her pre-natal course at the hospital. I knew the course would be helpful to my husband, but I discovered more benefits for me. It opened my eyes on all the possible way of giving birth. I felt I finally knew enough to choose a natural delivery. I knew I’d need the help of Sarah in this one, as natural deliveries are not so common in this country. 

Then it all started in the heat of a night, as I broke waters during my sleep at 1 am… (you might want to use a waterproof mattress protector just in case). The poor soon-to-be father had been in bed for barely an hour after a late night work! Thanks to all the precious information given by Sarah, we did not panic at all. I stayed lying trying to relax, and one hour later mild contractions started. This is the moment when you cannot help becoming a little nervous… So we text-messaged Sarah and felt so grateful having someone to talk to in the middle of the night! She comforted us and explained quietly at what stage we should call her back, and that she would check on us the next morning. In the end, thanks to Sarah’s experience and guidance, we waited quietly at home, I even went out walking a few times. And what could have 36 terrible hours waiting in a hospital room shrank to only a rough 24 h – more than enough if I may!

After checking in, when things finally got serious, Sarah partnered very efficiently with the Hospital Chinese staff. We could rely on her totally and just focus on the birth instead of struggling to understand the staff and the medical issues. Because we knew she was there to protect our interests. My husband also was exhausted, and worried: Sarah’s presence and support had been very important for him, and helped him support me better. Although she didn’t get much sleep either! Unfortunately the dilatation was not happening fast enough. The OB and the staff had been waiting for as long as they could, but safety comes first: so I was injected ocytocine (oxytocine?) to speed up the contractions. It worked very well and I had such “beautiful” contractions I could not handle the pain and exhaustion any more and asked for epidural. Sarah, again, totally backed up my choice and made sure the staff understood the request. She comforted me and my husband so well during these tough hours, I don’t know how I would have gotten through without her. 

I actually think that in most other Chinese hospitals, without the help of the right midwife and the right doctor, I would have end up with a C-section. Instead, I pushed my daughter out in this world and that is such a beautiful and intense feeling you can only call it a miracle. And there she was, our tiny little lotus, so beautiful with her eyes wide open… and hungry! Sarah was here again to support a good start in breastfeeding, patiently repositioning the baby and showing me the way.

Sarah’s help made a huge difference for us. Now we live on two different continents… but I hope to have a second child in the coming years, and my first wish is to find on the way a midwife as competent, kind and supportive as Sarah.

“My husband, Scott and I were married close to eighteen years before we got pregnant with our first child. We had talked often that if and when we ever got pregnant we thought it would be great to use a midwife, possibly even do a home birth and deliver without drug interference. Although our experience with Texas midwives was very limited, we set out on the journey of finding the right one. We got tips on our choices from a doula. She reaffirmed our choices concerning birth and introduced the option of using a birth center, specifically Gentle Beginnings Birth Center. We called and made an appointment to meet all the midwives there, Sarah Jones, Christy Martin and Ann Crowell.

Needless to say, from the moment we walked in the door, we felt such peace. While all of them had the experience of midwifery and delivering babies, it was their caring hearts and gentle and giving spirits that drew us to them. We knew by the end of that night that we didn’t need to look any further and that the birth center would be where our daughter would be born. But how could we say that we wanted one of the midwives over the other? They all were so special that we actually asked all of them to be a part of our “birth team”. Sarah and Christy were the ones I saw mainly throughout my pre birth process. Being an “older first time mom” (I was 42 when I got pregnant), I had my share of questions and concerns. They were so patient to answer all my questions and pray with me about my concerns. Even in the third trimester, when I was bothered by some pretty annoying itching (liver related), Sarah and Christy were there by my side with suggestions. They even went with me to my last ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. I kept myself healthy throughout my pregnancy and had a great experience being pregnant. I loved it!! I would do it again in a second!! Thinking about the midwives, their love, care and support, still makes me teary eyed today. We were so grateful for their help throughout the process.

As I neared my due date (June 14, 2008), we excitedly awaited “that day”. However, by the end of the day Friday, May 30, I knew that something was different. My tummy had been tight the entire day. What I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions never went away. By early evening, as my husband lounged by the pool and I continually tried to get comfortable, I tried to figure out the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and actual labor. I started calling my midwives around 7:30pm. Because Christy was in Arkansas at the time, she instructed me to call and communicate with Sarah if “things started happening”. Sarah told me to take a warm bath to see if the tightness would settle down. At around 9:00pm, I still talked to our birth photographer, Jennifer. Shortly after that is when it all started in full motion. I started having contractions but still managed to get into the bathtub. Thinking about it now, I obviously didn’t realize I was already in full labor. By the time Scott and I actually started clocking the contractions, they were roughly a minute to a minute and a half apart. And we were still at home in Fort Worth, planning to travel to the birth center in Hurst to deliver! Yikes!!! We left home around 10:30pm and I was in strong labor. My water broke about half way there (yes, Scott had prepared the seat ahead of time). While I’ve never experienced such pain in my life, I did my best to remember all the things I was taught in the birthing classes. Breathe, breathe, breathe!!!! We arrived at the birth center around 11:00pm and after a few short minutes of settling in and a few strong pushes, Sierra Faith Wentzloff was born at 11:20pm. ☺

Obviously, that was one of the best moments of our lives!! To see our beautiful baby girl with all ten fingers and all ten toes, whole and complete as we had prayed, was such a wonder feeling and rush of emotion. We’ll never forget her first cry as she entered the world. We’ll never forget those eyes as she looked at us for the first time. We’ll never forget her first moments of suckling and wanting to nurse. I’ll never forget the tears streaming down Scott’s face as he held his baby girl in his arms. No words can ever express how it feels to bring a new life into the world. It was so amazing!!! Truly a miracle and gift from God!!! Every day since has been a huge blessing because she is a part of it. Sierra makes Scott and I even more complete. She truly changes our universe She’s our sweet baby girl, our little darlin’, and the joy of our life. Thank you God for entrusting her to us!!! What a blessing!!!”