But, my interest was still sparked, so my husband and I started looking into it more.  Obsessive online research was done along with quite a few documentaries watched.  I began to have more and more questions for my obgyn.

When I was about 19 weeks along, we found out that I was having a girl and decided to confront my doctor with the list of questions I had made.  Yes, they still used forceps.  Yes, they still used vacume extraction.  Yes, if my labor went for too long, he would do a c section.  Yes, if I went more than one week past my due date, they would induce.  Yes, if my baby got too big they would do a c section (also note that during my visits, I had constantly been told that I wasnt gaining enough weight and that I needed to eat more carbs), Yes, episiotimies are pretty standard.  No, there was no need to breastfeed immediately after birth.  No, there was no need to wait for the umbilical cord to stop pulsing before cutting.

Upon leaving the office that day, I was more than a little upset and still filled with questions that my doctor had failed to answer.  Everything always seemed rushed, impersonal, cold, and questions answered shortly.  I felt very much that I was just a medical record number and not a scared, expectant, first time mom.  We decided there in the doctor’s office parking lot that we wanted to schedule an interview with Sarah at Gentle Beginnings.

Within the next week, we were sitting in a room with Sarah and learning more in that hour long visit than I had my entire four months previously with my doctor.  Every question we had was answered beyond thoroughly and she answered questions we had forgotten, or hadnt even thought of before.  I loved that she had a very preventative treatment approach, instead of the “oh, its just normal in pregnancy, deal with it” response I had gotten from my doctor.  I wasnt even her client yet and I already felt more like a person and actually listened to, instead of my previous position as just a number.  We werent even out the door before I had pretty much decided that this was it.  Birthing center with Sarah was the way to go.

Throughout the remainder of my pregnancy, I continued seeing Sarah and noticing very quickly that within just a couple weeks at most, I already felt healthier, more energetic, and more excited about my baby.  Keeping food journals for her helped me see exactly what I was eating, what I needed to improve on, and easier to see the results I felt from it.  Natural nutritional supplements like catalyn and betafood helped me feel better as well, instead of the continuous nauseated feeling the harsh prenatal vitamins gave me.   Even towards the end of my term when my iron dropped, the solutions she gave me still didnt make me sick.

Throughout the last couple months of my pregnancy, I had joked with her that I was done.  No more being pregnant in the middle of a Texas summer, I was ready to have my baby NOW!  Nevermind that I was her last one due for a couple months, and a first time mom.  But, low and behold, a week before my due date, I woke up in the middle of the night to contractions.  I got up and walked around for a little bit, took a warm bath and benadryl and tried to lay back down.  About a half hour after this, I realized that these contractions werent stopping or fading, and infact seemed to be in a pretty steady pattern.  My husband, Stephen, was woken up by a nervous (and probably too excited) mom in labor at that point, being told that he needed to start timing conractions.  Which he did.  With his ipad.  Why, yes.  There IS an app for that.

A text was sent to Sarah as a heads up at around 3:30 before she was called an hour later as the contractions continued to get a little worse.  Something else I loved about this experience is that even after that initial phone call, I was still allowed to labor at home, in the comfort of my own familiar surroundings.  We were instructed to get me into another warm bath, practice my breathing and relaxation tecniques and to let her know when my contractions lasted a minute or more and were a bit closer together.

Finally at around 7, Sarah was called again as I could only count and breathe through the contractions and we were told to meet her at the center.  Never has a car ride felt that long.

When Sarah examined me, I was told I was at a five and instant joy mixed with fear.  This was it!  No turning back now for sure!  I was put into the birthing pool to help manage the pain and instantly began to feel more relaxed and more sure of my decision as Sarah and her assistants Gina and Jamie helped me work through my pain with essential oils, breathing, prayer, and encouragement.  Even the chiropractor I had been seeing was called in and helped turn my baby’s head a little so she would be in perfect position for birth.  Stephen was never told to leave my side, and I wasnt made to just lay in bed with an iv.  I was able to move around, and encouraged to eat and drink to keep my energy up.

I finally felt the urge to push a little while later and discovered that I was pretty much ready, just a little bit of cervix left which Sarah helped push away and ease the baby’s head over.  It was finally time to meet my baby after a little more work.

After an hour or so of pushing, my little girl came into this world at 1:16 pm and was put right on my chest.  I have never loved anyone or anything so completely and instantly in my life.  She was perfect.  Sticky, but perfect.  And he will deny it til the day he dies, but I heard Stephen choke up when he saw her and touched her for the first time as I leaned back against him, still in position for pushing.

Im sure more things happened during and after labor than I remember, but I had my goal in my arms, and she was gorgeous.  After Alice and I were checked out just to make sure everyone was breathing well with a good heartbeat, we were treated to a healing, herbal bath.  I’ve never been a part of anything so beautiful in my life.  Holding my new child in a calm, quiet room and warm bath with my husband at our side is something I will cherish for the rest of my life.  Definitely an experience you will never get in a sterile hospital.

The rest of the day seemed to happen in a sleepy blur, I remember seeing family and Alice’s newborn exam (8 pounds, 9 ounces!!) and the center ordering in ihop for us new parents, but more than anything I remember the real compassion from all those who attended my labor and from the post partum team that stayed with us for a few hours until we were ready to go home.

The whole experience of pregnancy and birth that I had with Sarah is something I wouldnt change for anything.  I learned more than I ever thought I would and found more strength in myself than I ever thought I had.  I have more faith in myself as a mother and as a woman, and I know for certain that no one other than Sarah will be chosen to be my midwife for any future children.

Grace Jessica
November 1, 2010
4:31 am
9lbs, 20 3/4 inches

I started having sporadic contractions around 2:30 pm on Halloween afternoon.  This was nothing new.  I started having sporadic contractions every afternoon.  Often they would become regular and close together as the evening went on.  They would always pitter out and go away when I went to sleep.

By 4pm they were about 5 minutes apart.  I was uncomfortable, but that was also nothing new.  We had dinner, I cleaned up the kitchen, got the kids ready and we went out to Trick or Treat.  The whole time we were Trick or Treating they were between 5-10 minutes, and were a little stronger than normal, but I had no faith that they would keep up.

We were out walking around for about two hours.  When we got home I was very tired, crampy and uncomfortable.  I put the kids to bed, took a bath and went to bed.  I was sure that the contractions would stop again, but figured if they didn’t and I was in the beginning of real labor, that they would wake me up.  I was very hesitant, but just in case I sent my midwife, Sarah, a text message giving her a heads up that something might finally be happening.  I told her I wasn’t really optimistic, but maybe I would be lucky.

I fell asleep for about 3-4 hours and woke up a couple of times during a contraction, but they definitely weren’t regular.  At 1:45 am I woke up, realized it had been a long time since I had had a contraction and was a bit peeved.  Once again, the contractions stopped.  When was this going to end?

I got up to use the bathroom and before I got back to bed I had a pretty painful contraction.  I thought, okay…maybe.  After I laid down I started timing them and they weren’t all painful, but they were pretty close for about 15 minutes.  At 2 am I had a contraction that literally made me curl my toes in pain.  I got up again, to use the bathroom, and finally had bloody show.  I knew then this was it.  Finally!  Labor stopped while I slept, but I think it was because my body knew I needed a little rest and it officially started again at 1:45 am.

I went into another room to call Sarah since she was 35-45 minutes away.  I figured after I got a hold of her, I would wake up James.  I knew we would both be done sleeping for the day at that point.  She called the photographer, Keri, for me.  I had been worried the entire pregnancy that Keri, who was further away than Sarah, wouldn’t make it on time to get those immediate bonding pictures I wanted.  I woke up James so he could get ready.

Sarah got to my house it was about 3 am and I was having contractions every minute and a half or so with only about 30 seconds in between to recover.  I told her I was in transition.  She checked me and I was 8cm, definitely in transition.  We agreed to wait to break my water till the photographer got there.  We knew it would go fast.  I was very calm about the whole thing, talking to Grace, telling her it was okay, she could come now, we were waiting for her and that mommy loved her.

About 3:30 am the photographer got to the house.  At 3:40 am, I asked Sarah to break my water in the tub.  Figured less mess the better right?  Well Grace was so low it didn’t really matter as there was very little water that came out.  I got out of the tub, James rinsed it out and we started filling it up.  The contractions immediately got more painful, but I was able to talk and laugh in between them still.  I didn’t wait for the tub to fill before I got in it.  The warm water helped with the first contraction, but quickly I decided that I didn’t want to be in the tub.  I was feeling the need to push , but I just couldn’t get comfortable.  I wanted a water birth, but I always knew that when it came time I might NOT want a water birth.  Because I had realized this fact before hand, I was able to accept it and be okay with the slight change of plans.  And it was MY decision which was the best part.

I ended up getting on the bed for delivery.  I do not know what time this was.  Probably about 4 am.  By this time I wasn’t doing much laughing anymore and I was ready to get it over.  I kept telling myself that I could do it, and asking God for strength to help me get through it.  I knew I had done a natural birth before and I could definitely do it again, but in that situation and pain, you have to just keep reminding yourself of it.  However, I wasn’t comfortable in bed either, and briefly considered giving birth standing up.  Sarah suggested I get on my hands and knees.

They say the hands and knees position is more comfortable and an easier position to give birth in.  I completely agree at this point.  James propped a bunch of pillows up by my head and I was able to actually rest a few seconds between contractions.  Once I got into this position it went really fast.  After pushing through a couple of contractions I could feel Grace coming through the pelvis.  I told myself that the next contraction would be it.  She was right there.  I rested and got ready.  The next contraction I pushed.  The only pain I felt at this point was her, not the contraction itself.  I pushed, Sarah said she was crowning.  I pushed again and her head was out, I pushed again and Sarah said, “Daddy, come catch your baby.” It was 4:31 am, 2 hours and 45 minutes after my first contraction that morning.  Then they told me to lay down and meet her.

In that moment I was the proudest of myself that I have ever been in my life.  I did it.  I accomplished my perfect birth.  I had this perfect little baby, a gorgeous baby girl.  She had tons of hair and was crying immediately, but not too loud and not too long.  Looked pink and healthy from the beginning and was just perfect.  I was immediately in love with the little angel in my arms.

Because I lost a lot of blood during delivery the midwife ended up hooking me up to an IV with fluids which was fine.  After a couple of hours I got up to go to the bathroom and insisted on showering off.  Finally Sarah relented because she knew I would just do it after she left.  I got back in bed, was given food and fluids, and told not to get up.  Gracie was weighed and measured, pee’d on the scale and then bathed next to me on the bed in her baby tub.  She was content, happy, alert and learned to nurse like a champ with my help very quickly.

Many times during pregnancy I had stated that if the baby didn’t come at least a week before Halloween, that I wanted her to wait till afterwards so that I could enjoy Trick or Treating with the kids.  I had also stated that I would prefer her to be born at night, when the other kids were asleep, which would take out the issue of who would be watching them, and that early in the week would be better instead of on a Friday or weekend because then the kids would be in school all week and I would have time to just rest and recover.  Gracie was born the day after Halloween, early on a Monday morning, and not a single kid woke up during the whole ordeal, when they did it was off to school and lots of time to rest for me.  God gave me my perfect birth and it went exactly as I had hoped and envisioned it would for the last nine months.  He gave me a beautiful baby girl, when realistically I shouldn’t have gotten pregnant in the first place.  God answered all my prayers and even my unspoken wishes and dreams.  God is great.

~KS

So. . . . when I found out I was pregnant again, I wanted to have a home birth.  At only a couple of weeks into my pregnancy I started researching midwives in our area.  I found that there were lots and lots who went from one end of the midwife spectrum to the other.  Nurse-midwives who only delivered in hospitals to midwives who encouraged having your baby with no help outside help at all unless absolutely necessary.  

I met with probably half a dozen ladies.  Some were too far to agree to a home birth others had a policy where you got the midwife who was “on duty” when you went into labor.  No one seemed quite what I was hoping for, and I almost didn’t keep my appointment with Sarah Jones at the Gentle Beginnings Birth Center because I was sure I was going to be disappointed again.  But afterwards I saw God’s guiding hand in my choice because I decided to give her a chance and met with her.  She was so wonderful.  She seemed quite young, several years my junior but very confident and caring, and so very sweet and happy to sit and answer question after question that I put to her.  The birth center was a lovely place, and I had a hard time deciding between birthing at home or there because it was so nice (I decided against because I couldn’t imagine driving for an hour while in labor).  Sarah was wonderful at every one of my prenatal visits and seemed as excited and full of wonder as I was every time we heard my little son’s heartbeat!  We were even able to meet with a sonographer at the birth center and see our little guy.  Sarah encouraged me to stay fit and eat well (although I have to admit the food diary just about drove me nuts – as hard as I tried to “get enough protein” and “drink enough water” I never felt like I was quite doing enough – no offense Sarah. )  Again in the last few months my blood pressure started rising, and I started to experience some swelling.  Sarah advised me to take Gotu Kola Complex, and I’m here to tell you, that stuff WORKS!  When I ran out, my swelling got worse very quickly, but when I started taking it again I saw improvement within a few hours!  

I had Braxton-Hicks contractions from about 4 months on out, steadily getting stronger as I went along, but I wasn’t at all concerned because I had experienced the same thing with William.  My husband, Alex, and I went on a week and a half “baby-moon” in Maine when I was seven months pregnant.  We relaxed and hiked and had some lovely alone time.  Sarah went to visit her parents in China for a few weeks when I was at 7 ½ months, and left me in the very compassionate hands of her associate, Christy.  It was excellent to meet with Christy because she was supposed to be Sarah’s assistant at our birth.  I was very happy to learn that she was a kindred spirit, and we seemed to get on wonderfully at our first meeting.  

On Wednesday, December 3, (one week after Thanksgiving, less than a week after my 29^th birthday, and more than two weeks before my due date of December 18) we decided to go Christmas tree shopping.  Alex said that if we didn’t get it soon I would go and have the baby, and he’d have to decorate it all on his own. So while we decorated our house and trees with multi-colored Christmas lights and shopped for a tree I experienced some very strong contractions.  I had to squat down and breathe through several of them in between decorating.  I kept thinking, “maybe this is it!”  But I didn’t want to jump the gun, and sure enough, the contractions went away with a warm bath.  Thursday morning, afternoon, and evening went by without more than the regular Braxton-Hicks, and Friday morning I wasn’t expecting anything spectacular, but just to be sure, I called up my friend who’d given birth a few months previously and asked if she might loan me her birth pool.  Several people I know had used one and said it helped immensely with the pain.  She said sure, and at about 3:30 in the afternoon she brought it over, and I helped her unload it into the garage.  Our bigger boys, who are about the same age, wanted to play, so she stayed for a bit, and I was enjoying her camaraderie so much that when her husband called her to let her know he was on his way home, I told her to tell him to come on over, and I’d fix them dinner.  So he did, and I did, and when Alex got home we all feasted on quiche and fresh tomatoes and egg custard!   

After they went home we decided it was high time to decorate our tree!  So we got to work on it, and by the time we were done, my back was killing me, and I spent an hour relaxing and trying to work the kinks out of my back by lying on the couch.  We went to bed, but after several hours of trying get comfortable, I decided those weren’t kinks and no amount of relaxing was going to get rid of them.  I woke Alex at 11:00 PM, and told him I thought we’d have a baby tomorrow, and I called Sarah to give her a heads up.  She told me to try to get some sleep and called me if things progressed.  

I tried to rest.  I honestly did! But that baby didn’t have resting on his mind.  The contractions kept getting stronger and coming very regularly every 10 or so minutes and at about 1 AM to tell her that I was pretty sure this was it.  She said to try to rest between contractions and call her when the contractions got to be about five minutes apart.  At about four I called her again and told her I was ready for her to come, and she said she would be on her way as soon as she could get her things together.  I called my sister, Paige, who lives about an hour away, and told her I was ready for her to come get William.  At about five Sarah showed up.  She checked my vitals and the baby’s position and said, “yep, you’re in labor.”  Paige showed up and after I gave him a distracted hug and kiss goodbye she tenderly took Liam off with her.  Sarah was wonderfully calm and quiet and caring as I paced from our bedroom to the hall then the kitchen and back to our room.  She would quietly ask if I was having a contraction and time it.  Alex was in the kitchen putting the birth pool together and getting it hooked up to the sink.  After a while I couldn’t handle the contractions on my own anymore, and whenever I’d have one Alex would come to me, and we would kneel down together, and he would help me breathe through them.  Sarah checked me again sometime in there and said that I was progressing nicely and in good time.  Christy showed up around at about 7 or 8.  I think I got into the birth pool for the first time sometime around 9ish, after I got to about 7 centimeters, and we were pretty sure it wouldn’t slow down labor.  The water felt amazing, and I was still lucid enough, and “modest” enough, that I insisted on putting on my bathing suit.  After a bit I got out and Alex and I attempted to walk around the block, and I’m not sure but I don’t think we even made it to the end of the block.  It was really cold, and I felt conspicuous when I had to kneel down on the sidewalk to get through my contractions.  After our walk I got back in the pool, and around ten in the morning Christy started cooking the after-birth herbs and getting towels and washcloths warm.  I was out of it enough that I didn’t realize it, but Alex later said that they were expecting the birth fairly soon at that point.  I remember getting a little annoyed with Sarah when she started talking to me during contractions and asking her to quit talking.  After the contraction ended I apologized, and she said not to apologize but to feel free to tell her what I needed.  If I hadn’t been soaking wet and in pain I would have hugged her.  I needed to hear that just then.  I also remember asking Christy to take the herbs out because the smell was making me sick.  All this just made them more sure that baby was going to arrive soon. 

But then . . . Sarah started wondering how things were progressing, and when she checked I was still only at 7 centimeters!  Oh, I thought I would cry.  She and Christy went off and chatted a bit, and when Sarah came back she said that at this time they had to tell me that we needed to make a decision.  I had progressed so little in the last few hours I think by then it was about 2 in the afternoon) due to the baby not being fully engaged in the birth canal (the little stinker had backed up and was trying to come out at an angle) that I could either: transfer to the hospital (near tears), drink a bit of wine and try to stop labor and call them back when I was more rested, or see if I could go to a chiropractor for an adjustment and get the baby moving.  I really, really did not want to transfer to the hospital because I was sure I would end up with a caesarian.  We couldn’t get in touch with a chiropractor here in our town, and mine was an hour away and off for the day.  So we opted for the wine and relaxation.  It did help me to relax, and Alex said I slept pretty hard in between contractions, and when I woke up they said they had gotten in touch with Dr. Shane (my chiropractor), and he had agreed to come up and give me an adjustment so long as there was someone here to watch his little boy who he’d have to bring along!  Praise God for Dr. Shane and his willingness to come!  While he was on his way, I got out of the tub, and Alex helped me do some exercises to try to move baby down and get labor going again.  At this point I was at a really low place emotionally.  Sarah came into my room where I was laboring (and suffering so much!)  She knelt beside me, and encouraged me in her tender way, and then asked so sweetly if she could pray with me.  I said, “Yes.  Please!”  It was such a perfect thing for her to do.  I needed that so much just then.  I had been praying in my head, but just about all I could manage was, “Dear God, help me!”  She closed her eyes and held my hand and simply asked the Lord to be with me, and to give me the strength and courage to continue and to help baby to move so that I could deliver him.  It was such a simple prayer, but it was said with such sincerity and love and compassion.  It really moved me, and I felt strengthened and encouraged after it.   

Not long after that Dr. Shane arrived, and he was so great!  When I asked how I should be for the adjustment he said, “You just do what you need to, and I’ll work around you.”  So while I stood or kneeled he worked on me a bit.  After a while, Sarah checked me, and said I was progressing again.  Dr. Shane adjusted me (and baby) some more, and after a while said baby was good to go!  Sarah checked the baby and me, and said I was at nine or so, and I was really feeling the urge to bear down.  This was a totally new sensation to me.  I had not felt it at all with Liam.  Sarah said there was still a bit of cervical lip, and I needed to resist pushing if I could.  She told me to blow out my lips like a horse to help combat the need to push.  I felt like an idiot (even at that stage), but man, it worked!  She got the lip out of the way, and for the next 30 minutes or so I knelt on the bed leaning into and on Alex.  Thank you, Alex, for you strong arms supporting me and your tender hands holding me, and you encouraging words whispering in my ear!  Thank you!  Christy and Sarah kept urging me and encouraging me, and finally after what seemed a lifetime they said they could see his head.  But then, oh then . . . Christy said I needed to turn on my side because baby couldn’t get out.  Oh, my word, trying to turn when baby was partly out was just misery!  But I managed, and Christy held my leg, Sarah encouraged, and Alex held my hand, and after a while I started to see my baby’s head coming out!  It was terrifying and wonderful all at once.  I pushed and pushed, and thought I was splitting in half.  And finally with Sarah’s hands pulling him, and my body pushing him with all its might, our baby was brought into this world!  They laid him on my chest and tried to get him to nurse.  I didn’t care what he or anyone did, I just relaxed.  I guess my whole body relaxed because soon (it was really a couple of hours) Sarah said I really needed to try to deliver the placenta.  I did what I could to encourage the baby to nurse.  Sarah gave me a couple of shots of pitocin, and then threatened to give me a catheter.  I didn’t want that, and I guess it was enough of an incentive to get my brain to tell my body to get that thing out of me because it did! Then finally I was in my “mom soup” with my tiny new beautiful son.  He was 8 pounds 5 oz and 21 inches long.  It was the most wonderful, horrible, exciting, miserable day of my life!  But it was so empowering and inspiring!  It made me so grateful for a wonderful husband and birth helpers!  Thank you, God!

HOSPITAL OR BIRTH CENTER…THAT IS THE QUESTION.

I can remember researching birth centers almost as soon as I got married.  I remember that when I first heard of them, I was very taken with the idea and immediately intrigued about them.  I’ve never really liked hospitals…they smell funny (though the irony is that I actually was a biology major in college for a semester, planning on going into medicine).  After just a little bit of research, I knew immediately that a birth center was what I wanted to use to have my children.  It seemed like the best of both worlds!  A blend of medicine with a very homelike feel!  My mother-in-law had 3 out of four of her kids at home with a midwife, so my husband was and is very comfortable with midwifery and natural birth.  My own mom didn’t have an epidural with my oldest sister (though my twin and I were taken by c-section so of course medicinal intervention was needed there).  So, I knew that from my parents and his parents, we wouldn’t have much trouble gaining “permission.” (Not that we needed permission, but it’s nice not to have to convince).  Well, when I got pregnant, we were living in Chicago, having to go through private health care because my husband was a graduate student and I was working for a non-profit with no benefits.  Little did I know that the private health insurance company would not pay a dime for any prenatal tests or labs or doctor visits!!!  After my initial appointment and ultrasound, we already owed the hospital over $4,000.  I remember getting the bill and in between sobs, telling my husband that we couldn’t afford to deliver this child.  At that point, I stopped going to the doctor.  I remember getting reassurances from friends who told me that all the doctors checked for at these visits was my weight, baby’s growth, and blood pressure, so not to worry.  However, as a first-time mom, I wanted everything to be normal.  I wanted to be as stereotypical as possible! When you try a recipe out for the first time, you don’t tweak.  When pregnant for the first time, you follow the plan!  Tweaking should be left for the experienced.

We moved to Dallas that summer and when I arrived I was already 6 months pregnant with no doctor, insurance, or plan.  Thankfully, my husband got a job very quickly but even then, the insurance plan wasn’t great, and I just didn’t trust insurance companies to treat us fairly.  From my research, I knew that things might not go ‘by the book’ in a hospital, and anyone who touched me who wasn’t under our plan, we would be paying for out of pocket.  That concern, along with not knowing what medicines and interventions would be covered, convinced me to look into birth centers again.  I found a couple that really excited me, so one day, my good friend and I went a-hunting.  We weren’t too taken with the first one, so with crossed fingers, called up the second to see if we could stop by without an appointment.  I met Sarah that day and my friend and I were both taken with how calm she made me feel, as well as the professional, clean, polished, charming…I could go on forever, but to sum it all up…Gentle Beginnings Birth Center was a lovely place, and I knew I wanted to have my baby there. 

When my friend and I got back, I was so excited, but she was very nervous.  She spoke with her mother (a lovely woman who I like a lot) who just happens to be an ICU nurse.  The concerns and fears came pouring in.  And not just from my friends.  People at church, in the grocery line, everywhere it seemed, were interested in where I was giving birth, who was delivering, why would I want to do it without medication, what if there were complications…and on and on.  I finally called Sarah and asked for some advice.  We met up and I gave her all the scary scenarios I had heard.  She answered every one of them calmly and without surprise.  I could tell that she was trained with what to do in every one of those situations and that I and my baby would be very safe in her hands.  My husband and I decided that Gentle Beginnings fit our picture of what birth should be (a natural occurrence that can become a medical situation, but does not start off that way, and should therefore be aided not intervened or prohibited at the will of any person), what it should cost, and how every member of our family and friends should experience the arrival of our first baby.  Thanks to Sarah and her team, I had the answers and the confidence that I could do this, even though I’d never done it before.  I could safely deliver my baby, and that they would be there to take care of everything (from hot oil compresses to taking pictures to massage).  My prenatal experience turned from scarily non-stereotypical to excitingly-unusual…at least in this day and age.  I went from unprepared to uniquely aware of my body and my baby.  They redeemed my time for me and for that I will always be grateful.

THE LABOR STORY

It all started around 3:45am on December 7th.  I woke up and had to go to the bathroom (as was typical at that time in my life…I had to go every 2 hours or so).  Well, sorry if this is too much information, but when I went, I noticed that I was bleeding…quite a bit.  Needless to say, I panicked.  I went straight to the computer and researched ‘third trimester bleeding.’  What I found was not helpful and mostly terrifying–everything from placenta abrevia to miscarriage.  I texted Sarah right away, laid down on the couch, and told myself that if she didn’t respond within 15 minutes I would call her.  I not-so-patiently waited until 4:00am and then called Sarah.  Waking her up, I told her what was happening and she said not to worry but that if I was still bleeding tomorrow, we would schedule an ultrasound to make sure things were okay.  I also told her I was worried because I couldn’t get the baby to move.  She suggested drinking a cold glass of water and eating some fruit to wake him up.  Sure enough, a few minutes after eating and drinking, the baby began jumping around which caused me to calm down.  Sarah then texted me a few more questions which led her to believe that I was indeed in pre-labor. Not wanting to wake Michael up with my tossing and turning, I went and laid down in the second bedroom to try and get some rest.  I’m not positive of the time anymore, but sometime in the 5:00 hour I woke up with cramps.  I went and got the hot pad that I had bought for laboring, heated it up and laid back down…and promptly got rid of the hot pad.  That silly thing did absolutely nothing and only annoyed me more.    I then decided that I was definitely having contractions and went to the living room to start Contraction Master.  I was really confused, because starting from the beginning I was having contractions that lasted anywhere from 20 seconds to 2 and a half minutes and were anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes apart.  That’s not what I had read they would be like!  They were supposed to be irregular at the beginning, but moving closer together as labor progressed.  Mine were so irregular but pretty intense right from the start.  I labored like this for the next few hours and waited until I heard Michael’s alarm go off at 8am.  At this point, I had just had a couple of really painful contractions, so I was glad it was time for him to get up.  I had already decided that we weren’t going to church that day.  I woke him up by walking into the room and calmly saying, “Michael, I need you.  I think I’m in labor.”  He quickly jumped up and came to me, immediately comforting me as I’m sure I was looking panicked and scared. 

Having Michael’s help during the next uncertain hours was wonderful.  He helped me decide to call Sarah and see what we should do rather than immediately calling family.  Sarah suggested I either go for a walk or take a bath.  Walking was NOT what I wanted to do, so I opted for the bath, hoping to regulate the contractions and get some rest.  Well, I regulated the contractions, but did not get anymore rest.  While I was in the bath, Michael decided to shower and get ready for the busy day.  I think I lasted 10 minutes (maybe) in the tub before having to get out and go lay down.  The contractions got strong and VERY regular.  By the time Michael was out and we were using contraction master again, my contractions were every minute to minute and a half lasting at least a minute, most of them longer.  I discovered that the best way for me to labor was on my hands and knees.  This made contractions very manageable, but unfortunately, any time I changed positions to rest my arms and legs, I caused another contraction by moving.  The contractions, along with the exhaustion, made me very nauseous, so I ended up throwing up (sorry if you’re queasy) in bed.  I moved to the second bedroom again while Michael cleaned up and gave Sarah a call.  It was around 9:30 I think at this point, and Sarah gave Michael a few things to find out from me, only I wasn’t much help apparently.  I could hear everything he was saying, but come to find out later, I wasn’t responding.  It’s funny to think back on this, because I really do remember him talking to me and me thinking my responses, but I also remember him saying very tensely but calmly, “Courtney, Sarah is asking me questions and it’s really important that you tell us the answers.  I need to know when your contractions are starting and when they’re over.”  I never responded to him because I was trying to hard to figure out how to respond.  First, I wasn’t always sure when they started or when they were over, because sometimes they were right on top of each other.  Second, I couldn’t figure out what signal to give.  Should I tap the bed? Say “it’s starting”? Say “Now”?  All of these sounded so hard to get out and communicate.  Then, a contraction began and I looked at him and said, ‘okay’.  He must have read my face, because he started the clock and then stopped it when I said ‘okay’ again.  What a brilliant code I came up with!   After a few more of these and one more trip to the bathroom for me, Michael called Sarah to let her know.  When she found out how close the contractions were and that I was getting the chills and throwing up, she told Michael to give her 15 minutes and then to leave for the birth center.  Michael came to me (where I was hanging over the toilet–a REALLY good place to labor, by the way.  Perfect height for kneeling and helped me save my arms from having to hold myself up) and told me it was time to go.  I was able to tell him that the birth bag had been packed, but that there was a list of last-minute items to grab.  While he finished gathering supplies, I continued to labor in the bathroom.  When he said it was time to go, I moved to the living room and kneeled next to the coffee table while he answered a couple of calls from people wondering where to go to meet up with us.  Everyone was surprised it was happening so quickly.  While kneeling in the living room, I had my first ‘urge to push’ and got a little scared thinking, ‘this is not where I want to be!’  It took us a bit to get to the car because anytime I moved I had a contraction, so I had to walk while contracting, which wasn’t easy. Also not easy?  The ride to the birth center…let’s just sum that part up with ‘OUCH!’ 

When we got to the birth center, we saw Jesse and Kelly’s car.  I remember seeing them and smiling at them, but Kelly says that she wasn’t sure if I knew they were there, so obviously my smile wasn’t very expressive.  I found out later that Kelly asked Michael if I knew they were there and he responded, “I don’t know.  I’m not even sure she can hear me.”  Strangely enough, I was very aware.  Everything I had read regarding labor led me to believe that I would dip into what they called ‘Labor Land’ and I wouldn’t be as aware.  WRONG.  I remember questions, looks, thoughts…such as “I hope Kelly doesn’t hear me.  She’ll never want to do this” or “I forgot to renew my library books yesterday.  Now they’re overdue” or “That was an ineffective contraction.  I need to do better on the next one to make it really work.”  Seriously, those were some real thoughts.  I was just REALLY REALLY in my own head. 

When I got the center, Sarah checked me out and I was already 8 cm dilated.  PRAISE GOD!  I remember having to concentrate really hard at these last contractions, but I also remember thinking that I imagined it to be much worse.  I was definitely ‘vocalizing’ very loudly, but it really helped with pain management if I did it properly.  Michael was AMAZING.  He seemed to be exactly where I needed him to be and to say the exact right thing.  I am in awe that he would know me so well that he could serve me in such capacity with me not talking to him since around 9:30 that morning.  At this point, I also remember thinking that the birth center had been the perfect choice for us.  In a hospital, I don’t think I would have been able to labor on my hands and knees for so long and Michael wouldn’t have been able to be right there in the bed with me, holding my hand.  If I tried laboring on my back, the pain was too much, but hands and knees allowed me to labor effectively, without pain overcoming me.  From this point on, time gets really fuzzy.  It felt like it was over quickly (but not quickly enough), when in fact, several hours past during this time.  When it came time to push, Michael got behind me on the bed (another reason I’m glad we were there…I still remember the feeling of leaning back into my husband’s shoulder to push and hearing him say “oh wow! I can see his head!” or  “You’re so close!” or other little encouragements), and I leaned against him for the 45 minutes it took.  This part was MUCH HARDER than I expected it to be and am very glad that I don’t have to do it again for quite awhile.  But like I said, 45 minutes and it was over. 

When he was out, they very quickly wrapped him in a towel and pretty much dumped him onto my chest (gently, but it happened so fast!).  Michael and I just sat there for a few minutes in awe of this baby.  I then looked up and asked Sarah if it was a boy or girl.  She just smiled and said we would have to look. So we unwrapped the towel and discovered our little boy!  We were both very surprised since we kept telling everyone we thought it would be a girl.  I still remember the cheer when Christy, the assistant midwife walked out to Jesse and Kelly to tell them Christopher was born.  Michael and I both laughed.  After I had recovered a bit and Topher had nursed some, they let everyone come in.  By this point, my parents and Christine (my sister) had joined the Cones at the center.  It was perfect.  In his first moments of life, he got to experience love from some (not all) of the people that we care about most.  Then they set up the computer so that Michael’s parents could iChat with us and see Christopher.  How awesome are these times in which we live?!  I then got to go take an herb bath (amazing feeling!!!!) with Christopher while Sarah and Christy ordered me lunch from Panera.  It all felt so natural and normal and joyous.  After everyone had been checked out declared ‘good to go’ we all left back to home.  I think I got home around 5:30ish, so from beginning of labor to arrival back home…almost 14 hours.  NOT BAD! It was exactly the birth I had wanted and the ability to come home and sleep in my own bed (if only for a couple hours at a time) was indescribable.  The care I received from Sarah and Christy goes beyond words and I will be ever grateful to them for taking such good care of Michael, Christopher, my family, my friends, and me.  It was just perfect!

My husband and I first met Sarah when attendng her pre-natal course at the hospital. I knew the course would be helpful to my husband, but I discovered more benefits for me. It opened my eyes on all the possible way of giving birth. I felt I finally knew enough to choose a natural delivery. I knew I’d need the help of Sarah in this one, as natural deliveries are not so common in this country. 

Then it all started in the heat of a night, as I broke waters during my sleep at 1 am… (you might want to use a waterproof mattress protector just in case). The poor soon-to-be father had been in bed for barely an hour after a late night work! Thanks to all the precious information given by Sarah, we did not panic at all. I stayed lying trying to relax, and one hour later mild contractions started. This is the moment when you cannot help becoming a little nervous… So we text-messaged Sarah and felt so grateful having someone to talk to in the middle of the night! She comforted us and explained quietly at what stage we should call her back, and that she would check on us the next morning. In the end, thanks to Sarah’s experience and guidance, we waited quietly at home, I even went out walking a few times. And what could have 36 terrible hours waiting in a hospital room shrank to only a rough 24 h – more than enough if I may!

After checking in, when things finally got serious, Sarah partnered very efficiently with the Hospital Chinese staff. We could rely on her totally and just focus on the birth instead of struggling to understand the staff and the medical issues. Because we knew she was there to protect our interests. My husband also was exhausted, and worried: Sarah’s presence and support had been very important for him, and helped him support me better. Although she didn’t get much sleep either! Unfortunately the dilatation was not happening fast enough. The OB and the staff had been waiting for as long as they could, but safety comes first: so I was injected ocytocine (oxytocine?) to speed up the contractions. It worked very well and I had such “beautiful” contractions I could not handle the pain and exhaustion any more and asked for epidural. Sarah, again, totally backed up my choice and made sure the staff understood the request. She comforted me and my husband so well during these tough hours, I don’t know how I would have gotten through without her. 

I actually think that in most other Chinese hospitals, without the help of the right midwife and the right doctor, I would have end up with a C-section. Instead, I pushed my daughter out in this world and that is such a beautiful and intense feeling you can only call it a miracle. And there she was, our tiny little lotus, so beautiful with her eyes wide open… and hungry! Sarah was here again to support a good start in breastfeeding, patiently repositioning the baby and showing me the way.

Sarah’s help made a huge difference for us. Now we live on two different continents… but I hope to have a second child in the coming years, and my first wish is to find on the way a midwife as competent, kind and supportive as Sarah.

After it was all said and done I felt empowered, in the midst of labor there were very painful moments, but I look back and smile and know that I made the right decision and atribute a speedy recovery, healthy baby, and fond memories to my decision for a natural childbirth and using Sarah as my midwife. I will use Sarah as my midwife for my next child.

Needless to say, from the moment we walked in the door, we felt such peace. While all of them had the experience of midwifery and delivering babies, it was their caring hearts and gentle and giving spirits that drew us to them. We knew by the end of that night that we didn’t need to look any further and that the birth center would be where our daughter would be born. But how could we say that we wanted one of the midwives over the other? They all were so special that we actually asked all of them to be a part of our “birth team”. Sarah and Christy were the ones I saw mainly throughout my pre birth process. Being an “older first time mom” (I was 42 when I got pregnant), I had my share of questions and concerns. They were so patient to answer all my questions and pray with me about my concerns. Even in the third trimester, when I was bothered by some pretty annoying itching (liver related), Sarah and Christy were there by my side with suggestions. They even went with me to my last ultrasound to make sure everything was okay. I kept myself healthy throughout my pregnancy and had a great experience being pregnant. I loved it!! I would do it again in a second!! Thinking about the midwives, their love, care and support, still makes me teary eyed today. We were so grateful for their help throughout the process.

As I neared my due date (June 14, 2008), we excitedly awaited “that day”. However, by the end of the day Friday, May 30, I knew that something was different. My tummy had been tight the entire day. What I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions never went away. By early evening, as my husband lounged by the pool and I continually tried to get comfortable, I tried to figure out the difference between Braxton Hicks contractions and actual labor. I started calling my midwives around 7:30pm. Because Christy was in Arkansas at the time, she instructed me to call and communicate with Sarah if “things started happening”. Sarah told me to take a warm bath to see if the tightness would settle down. At around 9:00pm, I still talked to our birth photographer, Jennifer. Shortly after that is when it all started in full motion. I started having contractions but still managed to get into the bathtub. Thinking about it now, I obviously didn’t realize I was already in full labor. By the time Scott and I actually started clocking the contractions, they were roughly a minute to a minute and a half apart. And we were still at home in Fort Worth, planning to travel to the birth center in Hurst to deliver! Yikes!!! We left home around 10:30pm and I was in strong labor. My water broke about half way there (yes, Scott had prepared the seat ahead of time). While I’ve never experienced such pain in my life, I did my best to remember all the things I was taught in the birthing classes. Breathe, breathe, breathe!!!! We arrived at the birth center around 11:00pm and after a few short minutes of settling in and a few strong pushes, Sierra Faith Wentzloff was born at 11:20pm. ☺

Obviously, that was one of the best moments of our lives!! To see our beautiful baby girl with all ten fingers and all ten toes, whole and complete as we had prayed, was such a wonder feeling and rush of emotion. We’ll never forget her first cry as she entered the world. We’ll never forget those eyes as she looked at us for the first time. We’ll never forget her first moments of suckling and wanting to nurse. I’ll never forget the tears streaming down Scott’s face as he held his baby girl in his arms. No words can ever express how it feels to bring a new life into the world. It was so amazing!!! Truly a miracle and gift from God!!! Every day since has been a huge blessing because she is a part of it. Sierra makes Scott and I even more complete. She truly changes our universe She’s our sweet baby girl, our little darlin’, and the joy of our life. Thank you God for entrusting her to us!!! What a blessing!!!”